It's about time I've done something with my life. So I've taken the liberty to make my own kids show. Kids shows today teach about safety and good health habits. But they left out one key moral that is MANDATORY if children today are ever going to succeed in society.
That my friends, is animal sodomy. I can see it now, the show will open up with 10 children sitting around a live goat lightly carressing its nipples and licking its genitals. That will go on for about an hour before the actual show starts. Next, we have the main character of the show come out. I call him the Sodimonster.
He first teachs a lesson or new technique to try with your pet. Then his assistant (Holey, the giant puppet asshole) comes out of the center stage frolicking about (leaking what appears to be poo out of the center of the costume) handing out toy poodles to all the children to fulfill their dirty needs.
The next part of the show involves a series of minigames that the children play with the poodles such as penis tug-o-war and beat the shit out of the goat with a shovel.
Then it all ends in a massive blood orgy where everyone sings the backwards, satanic version of Amazing Grace. Then the Sodimonster, with its massive puppet cock, gives it to Holey really hard. And everyone dies!
THE END.
this really isn't funny. frankly, i'm quite embarassed that MY SON even thinks these things, let alone writes about them for all to see. i'm starting to worry that you are truly deviant. how did you get this way? this is scarey.
Posted by: Mom | September 26, 2006 at 04:22 PM
Mom thinks you are deviant...so I guess this shit is okay. I knew it was a bad idea to prop your eyelids open with toothpicks and force you to watch 'The Aristocrats' over and over.
Posted by: Dad | September 27, 2006 at 05:17 AM
i get it now, you just think you're the coolest. wow. get in line, asshole. no wait, read this first- the thing kids really need see in order to succeed these days; in order to understand the real value of things- they should spend 20 minutes on your website, then watch a public display of you getting hunting arrows packed into your ass for a couple of hours before getting a .44 mag forced 8 inches down your throat, fired, then just before you lose consciousness, throwing your head into an industrial press. that's what they can learn from you.
Posted by: bill murray | March 10, 2009 at 10:45 PM
you are so fucked up
Posted by: chandler | September 02, 2009 at 05:48 AM
hmmm. i just opened up this website and started reading about 20 minutes ago. the first couple blogs were at least entertaining. this one however, is just fucking stupid. ALMOST as stupid as the comment before me, but not quite. i noticed that you pretend that your mom and dad and probably most of these comments exist. not saying you don't have parents but you make people believe that they visit this shit. that just means you are (or were) an angsty teen yearning for attention and you use this website because you think grossing people out enough for them to come back makes you popular. obviously you're pretty smart, but you have A LOT to learn
Posted by: hops | February 16, 2010 at 03:10 PM