The whale, the gentle giant of the sea. The elegance, the beauty, the- 
HOLY SHIT!
Look at the size of that thing! Not only does it make my mom look small, IT'S HALF THE SIZE OF THE FUCKING WHALE!
Imagine bringing that home to the kids:
Dad: Tommy, Rachael, I have a surprise for you.
Kids: Yay a Playstation 3!
Dad: Close but no cigar.
Kids: What is it daddy?
*gently lowering it onto the kitchen table*
THUD!
Dad: Whale cock. Biggest catch of the day. Had to use a chainsaw and a chisel to get the damn thing off.
Tommy: Daddy, theres icky stuff coming out from its mouth!
Dad: Haha. Don't mind the puss Tommy. I killed it while it was fucking your mom!
Rachael: Daddy, its dripping all over the cat!
Tommy: Look Rachael! I can fit my whole arm down its mouth!
Dad: Thats the spirit Tommy!
Rachael: Where can we put it dad?
Dad: We can hang it from the ceiling near the entrance! So when guests come in, they'll get a warm, sloppy "hello" right in the face.
Kids: You're so smart daddy!
Dad: Thanks kids, now drop trou and I'll give you a real station to play with.
Dear Sick Fuck of a Son,
How'd you get Shamu to turn over like that? I guess all that practice with our dog really paid off. Looks like you're about to kiss it and make it better.
Posted by: Dad | October 06, 2006 at 09:23 AM
vow! Zat eez beegger zan my friend from zee nuclear plant'z penis. he eez goving to be jeelous!
Posted by: Petrov Ivanavich | November 13, 2006 at 12:04 PM
Hi all!
Your site is very cognitive. I think you will have good future.:)
G'night
Posted by: likopinko | September 10, 2007 at 11:23 AM
that is so fucking funny i almost pissed my self when i saw it!!!!!!! LOL:)
Posted by: joey | November 09, 2008 at 11:09 AM
of all the stupid wastes of time and human metabolic energy that i've ever seen on the internet, this site appears to be king. and it's not a ooh, you're sick, dude. it's just boring and onane- jerk it the dark like the rest of us, it's god's will. i think you must be a jew. figures. i got way more creative stuff for the missionaries than that crap too.
Posted by: bill murray | March 10, 2009 at 10:29 PM
Dude Bill Murray is on your nuts...If it's so insulting and such a waste of time why are you commenting? Keep it up Corey or else Mr. Murray here won't have anyone to rag on while he masterbates in front of the computer, reading your twisted rants as though they were literary erotica.
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Posted by: Katelynn | February 04, 2010 at 03:42 AM
Dude to be honest not really funny and not really shocking either glad your trying but really a whale dick wow and the best thing to say to a missionary is in the comments x
Posted by: Adam | February 22, 2010 at 11:44 AM